Top 10 Things I Learned as a Judicial Extern (in 2001!)

I am kind of a digital packrat. I have saved and kept accessible nearly  every file I created in college and law school (though some of them are now in unreadable file formats). Today, for reasons best left undisclosed, I took a trip deep into the archives.

One thing I stumbled across was a long-forgotten "journal" from my days as "judicial extern" to Hennepin County Judge John Holahan. This was a for-credit internship during the summer of 2001 that allowed me to serve as a proto-law-clerk for Judge Holahan. Part of the deal was that I had to keep this "journal."

It is interesting reading, although there are, of course, many wince-inducing passages.  The journal ends with the following top ten list, which I found pretty amusing:

Top Ten Things I Learned in my Judicial Externship

10. Not all judges wear robes. [I believe this was in reference to Judge Jack Nordby, who wore a three-piece suit.]

9. Copying machines these days have this fancy mechanism that allows you to insert a stack of papers and it will just gobble them up and copy them like magic. 

8. Court reporters and clerks of court wield unbelievable power if they should decide to use it. 

7. There is a surprising amount of domestic abuse in lesbian relationships. 

6. Speaking of homosexuals, I learned that their ineligibility for marriage really screws them over because they have no legal recourse when it comes time to get divorced. 

5. Good lawyers beat bad lawyers in trial. 

4. Excited utterances are an exception to the hearsay rule—that'll come in handy when I take evidence this semester! 

3. "In the end, it's giving that makes you happy."  --Judge Holahan 

2. It's good to be the judge—but you do have to deal with a lot of stupid crap. 

1. The Court of Appeals is a gaggle of idiots!

I can't say that I necessarily recommend that law students sprinkle their writing assignments with phrases like "a lot of stupid crap" and "speaking of homosexuals," but that's the way I roll.