Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Gayer than a what?

As we have noted before, judges say some weird things when they sentence people to jail. Waupaca County Circuit Court Judge Phillip Kirk may have won the prize for weirdest thing said in a courtroom.

As reported by Fox News, Judge Kirk was sentencing 71-year-old Delton Gorges for sexually assaulting four boys. Mr. Georges, despite his conviction, maintains that he is a heterosexual and not a pederast or pedophile. Judge Kirk, perhaps overlooking that homosexuality is not the same thing as pederasty or pedophilia, did not believe Mr. Gorges.

Among other things, Judge Kirk said, "I think that if anyone believes that in the last 10 years or 15 years all of a sudden you developed an interest in homosexuality and young boys, then I must have looked ravishing in my prom dress this year." One is left to wonder if injecting transvestism into the conversation was really all that helpful. Perhaps using the more traditional, "I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you" line would have worked better. Certainly it would have spared us the mental image of the judge in a prom dress. As an aside, I hope Judge Kirk was not thinking strapless for his hypothetical prom dress. That would be a bad look for him.

Judge Kirk also expressed some sympathy for homosexuals in central Wisconsin during the time of Mr. Gorges's youth. He said, "No one knew there was a closet to come out of in those days. You know you had to be very careful, because you could have found your penis floating in the Wolf as walleye bait. It was a terrible life to have to live."

None of the lines I've mentioned is what caught my attention as a really weird thing to say. Judge Kirk's strangest comment was when he said, "I think you were born gayer than a sweet smelling jock strap." The comment raises a lot of questions. What does the comment mean? Is it an actual expression? A Google search indicates that Judge Kirk is the first person to utter it. If one was to chart gayness, where does a sweet smelling jock strap belong? While it is clear that Mr. Gorges is more gay than a sweet smelling jock strap, the comparison only works if you know Mr. Gorge. What else is more gay than a sweet smelling jock strap? Also, what is less gay than a sweet smelling jock strap? Are jock straps intrinsically gay? Are sweet smells gay? Is this really the best simile Judge Kirk could come up with when he was thinking about what he would say at the sentencing? Do Judge Kirk's comments alter your position that all thoughts should be expressed?


  1. You ask many important questions that I will have to ponder.

    But first: According to Google, your post contains the first instance of the phrase "injecting transvestism" in recorded human history. Nicely done.

    Also, I have never heard the one about the "bride" for sale in Brooklyn.

  2. Well than the "bride" one doesn't work well either. Perhaps "bridge" would be even better.

  3. So let's see, political correctness is not a big deal in Wisconsin, right?


  4. What everyone seems to have missed is that the defendant SHOULD now have the grounds for a full-blown slander lawsuit against this idiot (who masquerades as a sitting judge).

    Second is that said "judge" made a whole SERIES of whopper "Freudian slip" admissions here:

    1. He thinks jock-straps smell "sweet" (and I think we can presume he doesn't mean 'freshly-laundered' ones, because then it would be ANY laundered item smelling "sweet", not jock-straps in particular).

    2. He (this so-called "judge") -- in HIS OWN thoughts and his own words -- associates that (sweet smelling jock-straps) with "being gay".

    3. He (this "judge") associates (again, in HIS mind) being "gay" with having a pederast obsession/interest in "young boys".

    4. He -- despite his age -- apparently still attends local proms.

    5. He apparently wears "dresses" to said proms.

    6. He believes that anyone near the defendant's age (which would INCLUDE this "judge") was UNABLE to live "openly" as a gay person... and therefore MUST have been "living their entire life as a lie".

    Add all of those together, and I think what this judge was REALLY talking about was NOT the defendant... but rather HIMSELF.

    HE is the one who has been "living a lie" -- hiding in the closet as (apparently) a cross-dressing, sweaty used-jock-strap-smelling, "gay" [sic] pederast.

    Oh, and he "feels sorry" for the defendant... and the ONLY reason he is sentencing the guy is because... the guy was CAUGHT in the act (unlike the "judge", who apparently just hasn't yet been caught, as he wears his "dress" and sneaks into the local high-school gym lockers during prom to borrow/steal and smell the "sweet" jock-straps).

    What a sick bastard he is.


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